My boyfriend decided to come over to my house to pick me up for dinner at 5pm today so we decided we would do the 33D2MG together before we head out. Somehow he got delayed and I was frantically finding for something to wear so by the time we sat down with our books and pens to start the reflections it was 5.58pm, talk about perfect timing right? Because for the whole of the first week, we start by saying the Angelus which is traditionally said at 6am, 12noon and 6pm. My first thought was thank you Mama Mary :) so we waited for 2 minutes and got started. We prayed, read the reflections and then shared our thoughts based on the questions. The beautiful part about journeying with my boyfriend (his name is Bryce btw) is that there is this sense of accountability to each other so like I know I'm not going to end up slacking.
When I read about how St. Louis accepted the destruction of his plans and blessed God, I was just blown away in absolute amazement. Being a part of the ministries in church, there are bound to be good suggestion and ideas that are ignored or rejected. Personally, A LOT of my suggestions have been rejected recently and because it was for the greater glory of God I could not seem to understand why such a thing would happen. I have been struggling for quite awhile now on how to deal with these emotions because I cannot ignore the fact that I have been hurt and I did not see a point in channeling my ideas or putting in my effort just to be rejected again. But when I read what St. Louis did, I felt comforted knowing that even a saint went through rejection. So who am I to go against the will of God?
St. Louis detachment from his own will made it possible for God's will to flow through him which in turn made him an instrument and eventually a saint. Makes it seem so simple right? If only we could let go of all our attachments *cues Let It Go song* I pondered on this attachments for quite awhile before Bryce chipped in that he thinks I need to let go of my do everything myself habit. My biggest attachment is that whenever I am given a task I want it to be done perfectly and on time. Why is it a problem? Because people in their humanity tend to not live up to my timing or expectations. So my solution is to do everything by myself. Yes I sound like a lunatic perfectionist I know. But I guess it is a challenge I will take on when the next task comes along.
St. Louis was truly an inspiration and if there was anyone I would like to inspire it would be the girls who don't think they are good enough for anything. The funny thing is just a few days back one of the young girls I know from another parish asked me if I could be like her mentor. So I guess I have already started inspiring girls by the way that I dress and the things I do. I want girls to have the confidence to be confident with themselves. My friend recently asked me how do I pull off a bikini to go swimming and I know this is going to open up a whole series of modesty dressing issues but my point is that I'm comfortable with my body shape. I don't care if people see me as fat or ugly. I'm happy being me - eating all the food that I love, wearing no make up and I think that is inspiring :)
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